NFL: Tiki Will Destroy Ronde in a Street Fight
Tiki Barber is a smart man. He knows running backs break down if they take too much punishment. Sure, he could have three more years of NFL glory but not be right for the rest of life. Who wants to wake up in pain everyday for the rest of their life? So, he'll likely retire at season's end.
While there is no question Tiki’s bust will be in Canton, no one knows who would win in a street fight between Tiki and Ronde, identical twin NFL players… except me.
Without further ado, the top five reasons Tiki dismantles Ronde in a Rocky V-style brawl:
5. Tiki Hold Sweeps Week Advantage
Tiki has a bright television career ahead of him and the networks will make sure Tiki does not lose. Can you imagine the ratings when the headline “Good Day New York Anchor Tiki Barber slays identical twin brother” appears--during sweeps?!?!?!?
4. Tiki is Better Looking
He clearly exfoliates.
3. Tiki Bars and Torches
Certain bars and torches became named for Tiki after his infamous Bahaman bar fight. Some dude spilt his banana-strawberry daiquiri and Tiki just wigged out. He ripped the bar out and knocked out this guy and seven of his friends with a baseball-like swing. He then spiked it on the ninth’s head, which was followed by him grabbing a torch and impaling the locals with the sharp bamboo tip.
2. Ronde Cried When Tiki Questioned His Dedication
Tiki and Ronde cowrote the children’s book By My Brother's Side (2004). Tiki went on a rampage because Ronde offered no substance to the project. Ronde later told authorities, “You think we're the same, but we're not... He is the spawn of Satan.”
1. Ronde Won a Super Bowl, Tiki Fell Short
The public loves Tiki, but his inner circle considers him a failure. Tiki fell short of the Lombardi trophy; Ronde did not. Tiki plotted revenge for years and years. This is all about pride. The reason Tiki blossomed into an elite NFL rusher is because he trained for years to win in a street fight against his brother. Tiki is ready, if need be, to fight until death.
